Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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