"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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