My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize