shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
