four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize