I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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