Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
