Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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