just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She told me I should be a condom model.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
