we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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