I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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