Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
