i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
where am i from again
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
