How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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