Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
