I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
