i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
