Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
