clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
