y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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