this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
