No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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