I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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