Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i will never coherently bang her
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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