Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
