She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
