Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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