so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
