I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Too much gin, very little bucket
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
