So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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