you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
