Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
