oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
