You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
