you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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