the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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