There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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