how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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