So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
