You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
