Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Can you bring me the toilet please
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
