Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
