sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
