i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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