shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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