I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
North Korea, Best Korea!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need to calm my uterus...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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