used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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