apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the day after is always just damage control
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize