We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
