This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize