Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize