I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
