If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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