tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
