I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
this is an emotional support booty call
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
