You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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