he told me I talked like a deaf person
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
