go do what you do best...puke behind churches
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
