Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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