i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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