Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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