Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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