i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
