But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
