Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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