Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize