if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
