I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
