u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
