Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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