Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
