In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
