Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Text me some of your sweat
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
