Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
