Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
